


i want to look at you

by gotham_ruaidh



Series: Gotham Writes for Imagine Claire & Jamie [12]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:55:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotham_ruaidh/pseuds/gotham_ruaidh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire was very matter of fact regarding Jamie's scars from the flogging having been a WWII nurse. What if she had been particularly moved by his scars on their wedding night and tried to kiss them away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to look at you

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt sent in to [Imagine Claire & Jamie](http://imagineclaireandjamie.tumblr.com/post/131689686085/claire-was-very-matter-of-fact-regarding-jamies) on tumblr. I'm posting my Imagine prompts here on AO3 for easier reading and in case there's anyone here who might not be on tumblr. Do feel free to check out the blog and send in prompts if you have more ideas for our favorite pair!

Slowly, deliberately, Claire trailed her fingers across Jamie’s shoulders, down his sides, and across the ropes of scar tissue criss-crossing his back. 

_I want to look at you_ , she’d said. She’d meant it – and not just because she honestly wanted to get a good look at _that_ part of him. If she was really going to be his wife – really going to lie with him – then she wanted to see all of him, all of his body. Just as she’d already seen all of his heart. 

Claire softly stepped behind him to really look at his back. Of course she’d seen the scars before – but this time was different. She’d been so overcome with absolute shock the first time that she hadn’t really _looked_ at them. How some welts were thicker than others – a few lines clearly defined, others blurring into shapeless forms. And the sick contrast between the uneven skin of his back and the smooth, unblemished skin of his neck, his sides – and his backside. 

He’d sworn to give her the protection of his body. The weight of this pledge only now sank in – he knew exactly what he was talking about. Knew exactly what it meant to endure pain – unbearable, unimaginable pain – for the sake of others. And he was willing – and ready – to subject himself to that pain again, for her. He wanted to – and she knew without question that he would gladly endure that for her. Would endure anything for her. 

Claire thought she’d known honor during the War. Whether wounded by gallantry or stupidity, the idealistic young soldiers – her patients – had all been willing to sacrifice themselves for their brothers – endure pain for the sake of their men, for their country. For the cause they all believed in, knew was right. The fact that they all agreed that their cause was just only reinforced their dedication to it. 

Jamie had not been forced – would not be forced - by others to take up any cause. He chose what he believed in. He chose what he would fight for – what he would sacrifice himself for. And he’d chosen her, when everything in this world – in this time – encouraged him not to. 

That was true honor. Selfless honor. It was why he’d gone to great pains to give her the wedding he felt she deserved – why he’d had a ring made for her, had found a beautiful dress for her, had dressed in his finest for her, and had insisted that God bless their union. Clearly he could have done without all of that – as any other man would have. But he’d wanted to honor her in the best way that he could – make the day as easy for her as possible. Make the day all about her. 

And how had she repaid him? By getting drunk – by being hung over during the ceremony – by thinking unceasingly of her first husband. 

Emotion welled within her. Overcome by tenderness, she eased up on her tiptoes to kiss the scars in the groove of his spine, right between his shoulder blades. 

Jamie shivered beneath her lips, clenching his fists tight. Even now, when he stood naked before her, completely vulnerable – he put her in the position of power. She knew that he would not act, would not make any move, unless she wished it – until she moved first. Honoring her, honoring her choices – putting her first. 

Claire settled her forehead against his back and breathed in deeply, tracing her hands over his sides. Christ, he was trembling. Muscles stretched tight, tension coiled. He had the physical might to completely overpower her, to have his way with her – but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. 

Then it all settled in to place. Claire raised her head and gently turned him to face her. His eyes burned into hers, and yet he did not reach for her. Would not touch her, until she touched him. 

So she did – cupping his jaw tenderly, relishing the rasp of his stubble against her palm. He turned his face to nuzzle her fingers, eyes still locked on hers. 

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for me, Jamie?” 

His eyes held hers for what could have been hours or could have been seconds. His pupils, dilated in the candlelight, made his eyes look almost black. 

“No,” he whispered. 

Adrenaline surged in her heart. This man – this selfless, beautiful, honorable man – who owed her absolutely nothing – wanted to give her absolutely everything.

Now it was her turn to honor that pledge – honor her vow – honor her husband. 

Claire’s thumb stroked the shadows under Jamie’s eyes. She withdrew her hand and slowly, deliberately untied the ribbon at the neck of her shift. The fabric slid down her body to pool at her feet. Jamie’s eyes widened – and he stepped back a bit. Admiring her. 

She felt like a queen. She raised her chin and extended her right hand – the hand that bore his ring – sharing a small, serene smile. “Come.” 

He took her hand and drew her close, belly to belly, forehead to forehead. Cherishing her. His breath was warm against her lips – and still he waited. 

“Yes,” she breathed. 

And he kissed her.


End file.
